This piece is about horrendous traffic, served with a soft serve.
Snow was whirling and the wind was blowing from multifarious directions. If you caught the snow scene at the right time it would look like a free floating soft serve. But of course without that sweetness. The children tried and concluded the free floating kind was not desirable. Tired drivers laid themselves to rest on the steering wheels after a long day. This caused the cars to sing a honking symphony and it was so terribly unsynchronized. Friday 17:30: one conditional problem with freedom is that it makes you unable to appreciate; even though being stuck at some job is way worse than being stuck in traffic, the desire for being elsewhere makes you unable to enjoy The Now and you frown upon relative minutiae rather than upon, you know, your shitty life or you just enjoy what you have. Anyway, the trick to get home was to not stop, the antagonistic ice caused a severe deficiency in grip. Then there was one prominent car and who knows what brand, there was just too much snow to tell. The parked car was detached from all the laws of symmetric traffic - geometrically skewed 28,93 degrees relative to the preordained lines of the street, that street that further on intersected beautifully and straight, 90/90 degrees across, probably a dozen times, before connecting the newly renovated highway. On this particular interstice between two intersections the cars were parked nicely but the discordant car blocked one particular Subaru and its owner was condemning a bit of everything. This man needed to get home to his girlfriend. It was his last weekend before being relocated to Bengalore, India for an engineering job involving sustainable energy. Fucking windscreen wipers were scraping.
Traffic was slow as half of the road was blocked and they took turns to pass. Every three minutes a car would lose its grip on the icy road which forced a driver to get out and into the snow and start pushing (which was usually the driver directly behind as it was deemed the most pertinent solution to everybody’s problem, while the rest were just to watch). Incapitated vehicles accumulated in lines on the lanes and a wife ordered her husband to check whatever was going on with that “fucking car”. It was locked and the handbrake employed. The husband scooped some of the snow away and looked inside. The dashboard was brimming with a variety of found vessels holding cigarette butts. From the rear mirror a miniature dream catcher hung and in the back seat a pack of condoms was longingly waiting.
“All because of one shitty car and who keeps a fuckin’ dreamcatcher in a car?” he cussed. GPS-technology eventually redirected the traffic and soon the congestion loosened up along with the whirling snow. The tow truck never made it in time; the owner of the obstructing vehicle made an appearance and together with him, a much younger attractive girl. She was laughing at his jokes which he made with animated gestures and lots of playful physical touch. They stepped into the vehicle and the wheels directly made full contact with the ground. Carefully the car left its improvised parking spot and the ones who were the most infuriated by the event were not even there to see it resolve, they were probably stuck in some other terrible intersection. Curses.